Mr. Valentine’s Day at the Office
February fourteenth brings with it talk of relationships, old and new. Lovers everywhere are reminded to show appreciation for each other through various methods of expression. With the holiday, it is not uncommon for individuals to evaluate the strength of their relationship. Although, one isolated circumstance can’t speak volumes about a relationship, every instance is an opportunity for growth isn’t it? Of course we aren’t only talking about romantic commitments here; this could be family relationships, relatives, classmates, and definitely coworkers or employment relationships. We call these relationships Best Ally/teammate or BAT’s. Here, we’re talking about the dynamics of a new employee’s transition to their new job, or a rekindling of an ongoing employee contract. Although, the psychological comparisons between that of people wading into a committed relationship and that of a new employee do not seem linked, upon examination, our research regarding Perceptions of Equity has shown that there are a lot more commonalities than one would think (Farnaz Namin-Hedayati, Center for Work Life, 2003).
Like the mindset of an individual who is moving past the various stages in a romantic relationship, an employee faces similar thoughts. While both aim to enjoy the novelty, they are also having typical reservations and doubts about the possibilities of long term commitments. So when in doubt, what is a person to do? The trick in both scenarios is to not let the insecurities override the potential. Just as the most important factors with a blossoming love interest are self awareness, self regulation, motivation, relationship management, and social awareness, the same rules apply with BATs.
Best Ally/Teammates Tips:
- During challenging times, remember why you were first motivated to join this team and company. There was a spark in that company that made you work hard to earn the position in the first place.
- Even in the face of stress and conflict, focus on developing and inspiring others. Doing this will always put you in a likable light.
- Think short-term, in terms of your actions, but long-term in terms of your goals. Focusing only on long term accomplishments is likely to make you feel overwhelmed. “Rome wasn’t build in a day,” right? With dedication and patience, big accomplishments will be around the corner.
- While looking forward to the possibilities, don’t forget to be flexible with your vision of progress. Remember that key to balance is not to imagine what it should look like and instead look at what it does look like. If you are not satisfied, leave (we can assist with your career planning) but if you stay, make it worth your while.
- Above all, remember that like every relationship, every job has its bumps and challenges. Thinking with our minds as well as our hearts is what gets us through the day. Our work culture associates success with being aloof, but true success can’t be anything farther than the truth. We are human beings, not human doers, so relationships are at our core. People do work, but they leave a legacy because they are able to touch a heart.
So this Valentine’s Day if you’re wading into the waters of relationship limbo, stay committed to your truth and make waves either way.